I Wanna Have Groupies…or…Boobies…?

When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. We all know “that” song and we’ve all argued about the notorious “boobies vs groupies” lyric.

The only this is, I don’t want to be rich and famous. What ho? But Tyrolin, you’re always prancing about on stage!

Of course — it’s a fun hobby and I like the people I spend time with.

But Tyrolin, you’re a singing teacher and you run a Glee Club and drama classes. Don’t you feel you’re a hypocrite?

Of  course not. Creativity is encouraged and singing is a great method for people to express themselves but few, if any of my students want to make a living out of singing, dancing and acting. Even if they do, I tell them to think of a back-up plan. And here’s why:


The best stars are attractive, beloved and ridiculously talented. They can totally get away with wearing sunglasses indoors without looking like a complete tool. Why wouldn’t we want to aspire to be like them?

Maybe because it’s one of the emotionally hardest jobs in the world and actors such as Johnny Depp are already considering retirement.

Forget about not seeing your family for months or being unable to keep a steady relationship. Don’t worry about relinquishing your moral code by bearing all for that highly anticipated Games of Thrones sex scene. That’s at least, a choice you make.

Instead, let’s focus on the multitude of breakdowns and meltdowns celebrities have. Amanda Bynes, Britney Spears, Joaquin Phoenix, Miley Cyrus. You only need to look at their Twitter account to watch their minds slip into madness. The paparazzi and internet trolls are friends to no one and according to Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger; “You have to sell your soul. I could’ve been more famous if I was more provocative but I’m not like that. I don’t want to be like that.”

This generation is all about ‘shocking’, which means every rising starlet has to ‘out-shock’ their predecessors by doing something even more revolting. Some celebrities continuously crave fame, going to extreme lengths to get noticed. As children, we don’t tend to notice this obsession and admire the adoration they receive. But as adults we pity and cringe at these performers.

Of course, not all actors or singers have an unpleasant lifestyle and they don’t all turn to drugs due to boredom; it’s just a nasty stereotype. There are down to earth celebrities who are yet to shave their head and spit on the media circuit. Personally though, adult me is perfectly happy to spill hot chocolate on my shirt down the street without it being printed in the newspaper.


Mo money, mo problems. The more you win, the more you want.

As kids we’re going to have ga-zillion dollars (I assume that’s somewhere in the vicinity of $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00) when we grow up and live in a Taj Mahal made of chocolate. Sounds fancy but it’s hardly necessary. But that’s just the thing. As kids we want to spend crazy money on crazy things. As adults, we’re just older, fatter versions of our past selves and will spend crazy money on less exciting things.

For example, let’s look at our friend Michael Carroll, a UK resident who blew his $15 million lotto winnings on drugs, women and parties. By 30, he lost his earnings and quote; “is happy living the quiet life again”. Awh. A happy ending.

Will Smith notoriously blew his million dollar earnings after his stint as the Fresh Prince of Belair and turned to movies to keep from the destitute path he was tragically walking.

Basically, money comes with more responsibilities. Very few of us are rich and those who are, spend it on the wrong things. The above examples are a select few of the myriad of people who wasted their money on frivolous items.

I’m a miser, a stinge, a true Capricorn. But I’ve always said if I had the money I would pay off debt, help my family and take them on a holiday to see the Colosseum. Otherwise, I have no real desire to have a pool filled with jelly or hire Man Power for nightly entertainment.

Like most adults, I just want to be comfortable. If I can pay my bills, my mortgage and still have money left over to take a holiday and eat at nice restaurants, then what else do we really need?

You know, apart from the chocolate Taj Mahal.


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