I’m Da Man

I’m not sure if I believe in reincarnation, but if it’s true, I’m confident that I was once a man.

I fear the director of Jack and the Beanstalk shares my concern, because, amazingly, I’ve been cast as a man in the upcoming play.

I’ve been told by men in the past that “I’m awesome” because of my number one manly trait; kicking @$$ in gaming. I can beat the majority of males in any game. Pokemon Battle? Win. Halo? Win. Guitar Hero? Very big win. World of Warcraft? Well, that’s just a little harder.

I have no interest in cooking (this, unfortunately, saddens men), I couldn’t be bothered wearing clothes that aren’t comfortable and I like to run around in my underpants when no one is home. 

Does this make me manly? I thought it did when I was a teenager, but I now accept that I’m just different – “in a good way”. I was my current height when I was 12, standing tall and not-so proud at 5’7” over the scrawny boys with high pitched voices. I worried I had a deep voice in comparison and felt silly crouching down in photos next to my friends. I was the Gandalf amongst Hobbits. Or, more accurately, the Will Ferrell amongst elves. 

It was hard being the height of a grown woman at such a young age. I had teachers mistakenly tell me to leave the Year 7 area because it was not for “Year 9 girls”. I had kindergarteners confuse me for a teacher and worst of all, I had a 30 year old woman call me a “lady”.

I felt silly liking any boy because I knew I looked like Hagrid to them. The only positive side to my height was that I was a great shooter in Netball. Probably because I was the same height as the hoop.

I travelled to State and played in my Ladies Sized dress in rain and snow, because Netball rules state that if your fingers fall off from the cold due to the bikini you’re forced to wear on court, then you’re not man enough to play.  ** Note, Netball rules do not actually state the latter or enforce you to wear a bikini on court. It is, however, heavily implied and a bikini would probably be warmer.

Ha, well I was da man. In fact…we all were. The footballers were complaining about the cold when they were rugged up in jerseys and pants. And here we were, wearing nothing more than a tiny dress in the sleet. But we didn’t complain. We played hard and we won. And (can you believe it), I met girls who were taller and younger than me.

That was when I realised strength, tolerance or height shouldn’t impact your gender. I wasn’t masculine at all. I just hated being in the kitchen.

When the boys became “manlier” than me in Year 9, I came to like my alto singing voice and my height. I didn’t need someone to reach for the cereal on the highest shelf – because I could do it myself!

As for my impeccable gaming skills?

I’ve learnt that it doesn’t make me manly either; it just makes me awesome.

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